A Spine of Steel

Some lessons are inherited like heirlooms — handed down without question, Carved into us before we know how to speak our truths. Today, I’m thinking about strength: the kind we’re taught, the kind we live through, and the kind we grow into.

This poem is about unlearning rigidity and rediscovering softness as a form of resilience. It’s for anyone who's ever questioned what it means to be "strong" — and whether you have to be unbending to be unbreakable.

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The Poem Itself

my father taught me

to stand tall—

a spine of steel,

no room for bending.

but strength,

i found,

is not in standing still.

it is in the ability to sway

and return,

over and over,

to myself.

my spine

is a collection of stories,

written in bone and muscle,

each curve a chapter,

each bend a lesson.

i am not meant to be straight,

but to sway with the seasons

and still,

hold my shape.

— d.l. heather

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Reflection/Analysis

I actually wrote this poem years ago. Earlier this week, I shared a personal essay about finding my old notebooks — tucked away like a time capsule. (You can read that reflection here if you missed it.)

Flipping through those pages, I stumbled across this piece and felt something stir. There was truth in those old lines, but also space to grow. So I sat with it. Reflected. Gave it some breath. I edited it — not to change the heart of it, but to meet it where I am now.

When I first wrote this, I was struggling with the idea that strength meant stillness. I thought being "strong" meant keeping my emotions hidden, not letting anything show, and never bending under pressure. But life doesn’t work that way. And neither do we.

This poem became a quiet rebellion against that idea.

The spine — a symbol of strength — is used here not as something stiff and fixed, but as something flexible, storied, and alive. Every curve in the body becomes a metaphor for the turns in our journey.

Our experiences don’t break us; they shape us.

Write It Out

What did someone once teach you about strength? And how have you redefined it for yourself?

If you'd like to share, drop it in the comments or reply to this post. I'd love to read your reflections.

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Thank you for reading, looking for another poem? Try this:

A love poem to myself younger self

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Debra 💛